I have decided, in defiance of all sound financial sense and projected sales figures, that Hot Toys should create sixth scale action figures based on Lonesome Dove, the six-hour adaptation of Larry McMurtry’s Pulitzer-winning novel.
Robert Duvall is
arguably the greatest actor of all time, and in Lonesome Dove he portrays Texas Ranger, layabout, pompous philosopher and whiskey/whore enthusiast Augustus McCrae; his greatest role, and his greatest performance. (Duvall himself cites it as such, above even The Godfather). And Tommy Lee Jones is every bit as brilliant in his greatest role: Gus’s partner, Woodrow F. Call.
Gus and Call are two of the most iconic characters in literary history… and made-for-TV movie history, which admittedly doesn’t sound as impressive. Garth Ennis and Steve Dillon’s popular, wildly uneven comic book series Preacher mentions Gus and Call by name, and the title of its final issue is taken from Call’s dialogue. You won’t find the Old West aesthetic reproduced more authentically in any other Western, and Hot Toys alone is capable of translating said aesthetic to three dimensions in the form of action figures I can photograph in the Snake River canyon oh please make it happen.
I envision astonishingly subtle paint apps, including dust on Gus and Call’s clothing and on their removable hats–beneath which is a wide band of pale, glossy flesh that never sees sunlight. I see traces of sweat and old dirt on each toy’s face. I see realistic accessories, including Gus’s pistol (which google assures me is a Walker Colt) and whiskey bottles and the Hat Creek Cattle Company sign, with its nonsensical Latin motto, “Uva uvam vivendo varia fit”, all produced with the exacting attention to detail for which Hot Toys is justly celebrated.
I’god, Woodrow. Hell of a vision.