Two-Fisted Toy Talk!

These Toys Aren't Going to Photograph Themselves…

‘Ster Crazy

So that you don’t lose sleep, I offer you an update: I don’t have any Monster High dolls yet.

However, I do have a Wal-Mart gift card that I’ll most likely use on nothing but Monster High. Unfortunately, I can’t find any of the ones I want; the Create-A-Monster set including the bee girl is suddenly absent from shelves, and the only versions I can find of Monster High mainstays like Ghoulia Yelps and Draculaura are the beach variants from the Gloom Beach and Skull Shores series. I’d prefer more definitive versions, ideally, although I’ll probably compromise and nab a roller derby variant of one or two of the characters.

Meanwhile, I cannot navigate the nonsensical, arbitrary retail prices of these goddamn dolls. Notwithstanding the convention exclusives and other scarcities that earn scalpers hundreds of dollars on eBay, just studying the Monster High selection at the local Target or Wal-Mart is an exercise in randomness. No doll appears to boast any more accessories than any other, and yet the price from one doll to another can differ by as much as ten dollars. The only difference I can discern is the size of a given figure’s box. It’s maddening!

Happily, while I’ve yet to compromise the feeble, final whisps of my remaining masculinity by actually purchasing one of these dolls (emphasis on yet), I did manage to get my hands on a Lagoona Blue doll for twenty minutes or so; it belongs to my daughter’s friend, and while the girls were distracted I made a point of playing with the doll. At first, the articulation was so counter-intuitive and off-putting that I almost immediately resolved to abandon my burgeoning Monster High obsession. Soon, however, despite the ridiculous tiptoe feet, I was able to get Lagoona to maintain a standing pose, and I already have a number of ideas for outdoor photos, although I don’t know that Lagoona will be the doll I buy; my settings are mostly desert landscapes, which are ill-suited for sea serpent dolls. Plus I’d want to photograph her in water, and I wouldn’t know how to fix a doll’s hair after it gets wet. This is all new ground for me.

Incidentally, I have scoured Flickr for an awesome Monster High portrait with which to close this post, and I have come to the conclusion that Monster High enthusiasts are a paranoid lot, for a disproportionate number of them have forbidden downloading of their photos. Selfish bastards, the lot of them. Huzzah, then, to selfless Flickr member Peasnpromise!



Photo appears Courtesy of Peasnpromise at Flickr


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