Two-Fisted Toy Talk!

These Toys Aren't Going to Photograph Themselves…

Say, That Reminds Me…

A dispatch from The Department of What-Does-This-Say-About-Me?

This post is brought to you by Mattel’s Battle Armor He-Man action figure, from 1984:

 PhotobucketImage appears courtesy of Online Action Figure Entertainment

Over at the Toy Ark forum, “ersico” posted a clever if somewhat off-putting custom:


Seeing this unique take on He-Man, I immediately thought of a mentally ill recluse who suffered from what Wikipedia calls “homosexual pedophiliac tendencies” before ultimately committing suicide.

Samples of Charles Crumb’s artwork are scarce, owing to the fact that his equally ill mother destroyed most of his illustrations after he died. Still, I was able to locate the following image from Et tu, Mr. Destructo?:


As Crumb’s madness intensified, he would add these frankly inexplicable “wrinkles” to all the surfaces in his illustrations. The effect is (unintentionally) chilling. Eventually, the panels in Crumb’s comic books featured no illustrations at all; the dialogue bubbles consumed an increasing amount of space, until the characters were crowded into the bottom of each illustration, as if their own words were smothering them. Ultimately, Crumb abandoned the artwork altogether, and his handwriting grew more cramped and frenetic. He produced entire notebooks filled with nearly microscopic scribbling that somehow managed to be simultaneously illegible and impeccably neat.

I have seen Terry Zwigoff’s Crumb at least half a dozen times, but I certainly never expected that I would associate it with a customized action figure from Masters of the Universe.


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